The phrase appears to mean that those who are unhappy seek to make others unhappy too.

Why does misery love company? Is it out of jealousy? Is it out of resentment? Do miserable people just naturally attract one another? Its actually a combination of all three, but the weight of them can depend on the actual individual. For example people who are unhappy with their life, if you ever try to have fruitful conversations of your dreams and aspirations, its not long before they start to lash out of with criticism. Another example that is more prominent is when they start talking about someone who has become successful, there is always judgement, always trying to belittle their success by trying to find faults. The last example I will give, one that probably goes unnoticed, is if I ever said "ugh I dislike ..... about myself" they would probably go on to say "no your are fine" " be more confident". But if I ever said I think im really beautiful I would never change anything about me" thats when they would start saying "she's not even even that pretty" "she needs to humble herself". Which goes to show that as a society we are collectively a negative people. We are threatened by other people's confidence. 

However its important to note, that not everyone who is miserable is trying to drag you down with them. Some people who are unhappy with their current lifestyle, are simply looking for a way out, and will often look to others for help, not as targets for their own misgivings.  

So while misery loves company, does company always love misery? Certainly not, and unless you want to despise your life as much as some people do, making sure they don’t grab a hold of you and drag you along for the ride is something to be aware of.  The easiest way for this to happen is to take offense when somebody attempts to criticize or belittle you. It’s easy to think that YOU did something wrong, but you have to remember it’s the miserable person that’s looking for an outlet here, not you. While it’s easy to not care when such an attack comes from a complete stranger or somebody you barely know, quite often it’s actually our closest “friends” or family members that launch these attacks. Always remember you're biggest fan is a stranger, and your biggest hater is someone you know. Of course, you have to question how good a “friend” a person like that is.  It’s also important to not change your course of action just because (a miserable) somebody else doesn’t agree with where you’re going. More often than not they’re simply jealous or resentful that you’re where you are and they’re where they are. The uncanny thing is, instead of asking for advice so they can elevate THEIR status, they’d rather undermine you in an attempt to reduce YOUR status. You have to reason that maybe these people aren’t making the smartest decisions in life if they’d rather give up an attempt to better themselves just in hopes of watching someone else fall.

Another thing to watch out for is anybody who attempts to bring you down simply because they want company. They won’t criticize you or argue about what you’re doing, rather they want somebody to share in the same level of negativity that they do. These people usually aren’t jealous or resentful, but are most often depressed and experiencing loneliness because there’s nobody around them they can relate to. A lot of times when someone is depressed they’re looking for a helping hand, and this is an opportunity where you can help someone who’s reaching out for it. Just make sure that when you grab their hand it’s so you can pull them up, not so they can yank you down. More often than not though, it’ll be someone looking for another person as miserable and unhappy as them. Someone they can relate to and think “maybe my life isn’t so bad after all…. this person has it much worse than I do.”  It helps them validate why their day went so poorly and gives them an excuse to wallow in their pity party. Although it’s certainly possible to help these people, until they consciously decide to start actively seeking a lifestyle which creates happiness for them, your choices are sort of limited. Just like you can take a horse to water, you can’t force him to drink. You can do your best to help create happiness for anyone who’s depressed or unhappy with their current lifestyle, but ultimately it’s going to come down on them to take the reins. But make sure you are helping them out of your thriving and you are not being drained in the process, because it is not your responsibility to heal everyone.

A little detour

Its so important to protect your circle. They say you are the average of the 5 people you spend most time with. Its important to evaluate these people and see if they are bringing the best in you or are hindering your growth. 

Sourround yourself with the inspired, the motivated, the open minded, the grateful and the passionate. You will see how your quality of life will improve. Sit with winners the conversation will be different!

Avoiding people who will only serve to bring you down is certainly a wise decision. Even if misery loves company, as long as YOU’RE not that company then you’ll have nothing to worry about. There are a lot of people in life who will try and trip your flow or stop you from reaching your highest potential, all because they lack the ability to make it there themselves. Although you can’t always stop these people from entering into your life, you CAN brush them off and make sure you’re not influenced by their opinion. Above all, if someone is really going out of their way to criticize or scrutinize what you’re doing, take it as a sort of backwards compliment. Negative people never feel threatened by the weak, but when they see you have the potential to go places with your life, that’s when they feel the need to bring you down

I said in my last article Trauma pt. 2  that I would be more intentional in writing about things I haven't healed from. Well only recently did I come to the realisation that certain people around me were hindering my growth and draining me. This is obviously a result of Fixer Mentality I have always tried to fix broken people. But im learning that its not my responsibility to carry. I have made the decision to actively to protect my space. And of course still helping where I see fit but not to the extent where it is bringing me down. I can already see the benefits!