Anxiety Disorder pt 1

A mental health disorder characterised by feelings of worry, anxiety or fear that are strong enough to interfere with one's daily activities.
 

Examples of anxiety disorders include:

panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Plus so many more but in this article I want to focuse on panic attacks/ panic dissorder.

Symptoms include stress that's out of proportion to the impact of the event, inability to set aside a worry and restlessness.

I had my first set of panic attacks this year. With the year we have had its not a surprise. 

My first panic attack was back in June. I was getting lunch with a few friends, I had already started feeling off but I just brushed it off. As we were ordering at the counter my heart started lightly pounding and I was getting a bit dizzy and weak. So I went to sit down and told them to order for me. I sat down but somehow this made things worse I was feeling restless, I was slowly starting to hyperventilate. And my heart at this point was fully pounding. Maybe this was an asthma attack, I thought to myself. So I stood up and took 2 puffs. But this did not help. I was now pacing because I was convinced I was about to faint. My friends finally found me, so I decided to go lay down in the car. And they suggested it might be low blood presssure so if I had anything sugery I should take. I was desprate so I agreed. I went to car almost running, I drank a bottle of coke. As soon as I laid down I almost immediatly felt very hot. I couldnt sit still so I got out again went back to my friends and I told them I was gonna faint so we should go the hosptital before I do. I was in full blown panic at this point. As soon as the food was ready we were on our way. I had to drive cause I was the only one with a liscence. I was driving at 1000 km/h (exaggeration) I just wanted to get there before I drop. We went to the nearest clinic we could think of. They found that my blood pressure was sky high. They injected me with diazepham, I maybe instantly got calmer. They gave me another pill to leave under my toungue. And I had to wait until my blood pressure was normal. 

Now later on that week I visited about 3 different hosptitals because I was constantly getting these attacks. I had a bunch of medicine on my dresser because different doctors thought it was different things. So many tests I had to go through ECG, lung-function test, X-rays, full blood counts all came out negative. This was all fueling my anxiety.

 

Only weeks later I realized that what I was expiriencing was panic attacks. At this point it was probably a panic disorder because I wasnt sleeping, when I did I would get the most disturbing nightmares, which meant I would wake up in panic. I was barley eating because I would almost start choking when I did because my breathing would get in the way. I couldnt drive. I couldnt workout. I would get tension headaches, my chest was always tight and I would get sharp pain.and worstly I was expiriencing dissociation (disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions and identity).

Healing

Now from this I had to pull myself out and start the healing process. I had to adress why I was in excessive worry, and then develop healthy coping mechanism and deal with my other symptoms one by one.

I brainstormed and came up with my main cause of worry which was the pandemic, another cause was probably the political situation in the country and other acute traumas I hadnt processed which might have become chronic trauma. So I had to distance myself from the news and stop myself from obsessing over things thst were stressing me.

I started journaling daily this worked as a sort of brain dump and I beleive its a sort of therapy to see your thoughts on paper and process them. During panic attacks I started practicing grounding techniques. One of my main ones is: 

And also counting backwards from 100 works, and not forgetting breathing techniques like block breathing (breathe in for 4 sec, hold for 4, release for 4). I got this herbal tea that helped me sleep: 

I would sleep with a hot water bottle on my chest to lossen my chest muscles. I would sleep with scented candles and calming noises I had downloaded like rain or the ocean. I would cuddle with my teddy bear before I slept because it just gave me assurance that its all ok. But moslty I prayed. Now healing isnt linear, other days I didnt do any of these things because I would be so over it. But the more I did the better I felt and once my sleep was back in check everything else was getting better. Slowly from having one panic attack a day I was getting them once a week. And today I barley get them at all. This article I have been trying to write for weeks but I couldnt without being triggered, im glad I have finally gotten through it.

Here is some anxiety releif~

 

Playlist

Anxiety

Verses

Anxiety

Mindfulness

And really I know how overwhewlming anxiety can get dont hesitate

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